Tuesday, October 18, 2016

If you have met One Person with Autism...

Well, someone again asked me if I felt that Mason was misdiagnosed.

I realize that this is a "good"thing however I don't know why but it annoys me when people ask me this.

I would rather people just say "wow he is doing great" or something like that.

I feel like when people start talking about misdiagnosing autism because the kids are doing well, it is saying that autistic people cannot do well and that is not true.

Autistic 5 year olds can thrive, be happy, be silly, be funny and yes STILL (gasp) be autistic.

Mason is not neurotypical in any way. All of his language and social development was atypical and extremely delayed that is autism at its core.

Like...kids shouldn't need 20 hours of therapy to learn how to point. 9 month old babies point.

So yes...he has joint attention but it did not develop normally in any way.

He, at 5, struggles with pragmatic language which is very common for autistic people.

Pragmatic language refers to social language skills used in daily interactions with others. This includes what we say, how we say it, body language, and whether or not it is appropriate.

He also uses scripting for a lot of his communication.

Scripting is when someone uses a phrase they have heard previously and applies the phrase to a social situation.

I kind of think of it like he has a little Rolodex of responses in his head and when someone asks him something, he goes through his Rolodex until he finds the answer he knows applies to the situation.

He does not do this all the time but I notice he does it frequently.

For a while this summer, he was scripting from Peppa Pig.

He kept telling me that Daddy lost the keys in the drain. He would say this whenever we saw a drain.

He kept asking me if our grass was long whenever we went outside.

He kept telling me he wanted a picnic with tomatoes, lemonade, bread and cheese.

It was all really bizarre and very repetitive and then one day he was watching Peppa Pig and all of these things were happening in the episodes.

So...yeah. He is not Rain Man. I think we all know that. But like everyone in the autism community says..if you have met one person with autism...you have met ONE PERSON with autism.

Autism is a spectrum and if you think about it, being neurotypical is a spectrum also.

No two neurotypical are exactly alike.

So...just think of the autism spectrum in the same way.


He LOVES kindergarten and I think he is really enjoying reading.

He comes home every day and tells me about his sight words and spells them for me and he likes to look for them in books!

The things that come out of this kid's mouth kill me!

Yesterday he asked me why witches "think things are funny" and I had no idea what he meant and then he pointed out that when they fly away on their brooms, they are always laughing.

I seriously almost died.

Also over the weekend, he got in a lot of trouble and when I was telling him his toys were going in time out, he told me he loved me and he liked my hair.


I couldn't even be mad after that!

I do want to sit and write about how soccer is going, but I feel drained just thinking about it.

Mason is great when it comes to soccer skills, but at this time I just don't know if a team sport is what is best for him-but we are sticking it out.

His attention span is like zero and I know everyone says "oh my kid is like that too" but it is really not the same thing.

Overall though-I couldn't be happier with where we are at this point.

I first started blogging in 2012 and I remember wishing so badly that I could see into the future for Mason.

I see now that his future is on track to be bright and I have no doubt he will be successful.

I know autism is different for every person and the journey of having an autistic child is different for every parent.

But that is life for every parent-you just don't know how your child will turn out.

Bringing up Mason has been the biggest challenge of my life and not because of him, it was because of me. I was scared I was going to do something wrong.

In the beginning I questioned EVERYTHING I did.

I was seriously flying by the seat of my pants, hoping that I did not make a mistake that would wreck his life.

I am so proud that he is my son and I cannot imagine him any other way than who he is.

Thursday, October 6, 2016

Quick Post


I have been so busy-good busy!

There is a lot to update on and there are a few topics I want to write about but I just don't have the energy to sit down and do it.

When I first started this blog, words literally came out of my fingertips. I wIould just type and type and type.

Now...it is really not like that.

I have to be in the mood to write-which I think is a good thing because I have realized that my unintended purpose for this blog was to cope when I found out Mason was autistic.

And it did help me cope very much.

It was such a scary time.

Sometimes I still do feel scared.

I am very scared for Mason to go to public school in 1st grade next year-this is last year in his private school where he attended Nursery (from 2-3), Pre-K (3-5) and now kindergarten.

But I don't feel like he is DOOMED or anything..which is how I felt 4 years ago.

He is doing GREAT in kindergarten.

There are only 8 kids in his class-I think most of the kids are autistic and I imagine the reason the class is so small is that parents of NT kids who were sending their kids to his school for nursery and pre-k don't want to have to pay the tuition since their kid can go to public school.

I am glad it is a small class-I think that is good for him.

Up until recently, I had wanted him to be mainstreamed in 1st grade but I kind of think a few years in a smaller classroom could benefit him too.

I am just not really sure what is best-our school district will start evaluating him I think in January and I will get to see what types of programs are offered.

I think he could be mainstreamed, but I think he would need A LOT of support and I just don't know if the districts could give that to him, and if they cannot, I don't want to just throw him in that environment.

It would be like being thrown in the middle of the ocean with no life jacket.

But..we will see how it all plays out-I am really open to whatever is best for him and I know I will make the right choice for HIM and not what is best for ME.

He is playing soccer-I do want to sit down and write about that when I have it in me-but I just really don't.  It has been up and down.

For the most part things are great! I always have the worry back in my mind though.

Next year is going to be a HUGE transition.

Anywhoo-just wanted everyone to know we were alive.

Soccer Practice

Mason with his Dad and me


Wednesday, August 17, 2016

My Kid is Really Good Looking ;)

Lets see, so far I have killed two fish and now a hermit crab. I seriously think if my head was not attached I would not have a head.

Mason keeps asking me all about his dead pets and where they are, and I am saying they missed their moms and had to go home. Then he is asking me about their moms and what do their moms look like, what are their names, can we visit them, etc..


I win the Olympic Gold Medal in killing small pets.

On a side note, I am actually totally obsessed with watching the Olympics.

It is so inspiring to watch the athletes as I sit on my sofa and stuff my face.


Anyway I just really wanted to write a quick entry to share this pic of Mason which I LOVE.

I know I am his mom but I think he is the most beautiful child I have ever seen in my life!

I am also pretty sure every mom thinks that about their kid hahahaha.

This past weekend, Mason went on an airplane, rode a jet ski, and went on a boat. I had to miss it all since he was with his dad, and that was seriously heartbreaking but at the same time, I am glad he is able to enjoy these things without any trouble.

I took him on a big ass adult roller coaster when we went to the Poconos...so there!

He is starting Kindergarten in a few weeks and I cannot believe it! This will be his last year at the private school for kids on the autism spectrum that he has attended since he was 2.

I am so sad that this is his last year.

That being said, in September I will be contacting our public school to start the process of transitioning him there as a student, finding out what their special needs program is like and start the process of his evaluations for an IEP for next school year.

This is all totally new territory for me and I have begun doing a lot of research to find out what his rights are and what he actually is entitled to.

What I would like is for him to be mainstreamed in a regular classroom, have his own 1:1 aide, and also  receive Speech and ABA and maybe OT during the week (he is really having trouble with holding a pencil and writing).

So I will have a lot to write about in the next few months!

Monday, August 8, 2016


Mason and I went to the Poconos for a 4 day vacation and it was so much fun!

My family has gone the 2 previous years and I have skipped it, basically because Mason was too hard for me to manage by myself. I just didn't want to put him in a situation where a new environment was too much for him and therefore, trying to keep him calm would be too much for me.

This year now that his communication is great and he is potty trained and he understands when we go on vacation, I knew I could take him and have a good time.

We had some challenges (he swallowed a quarter-I cannot even write about it. I don't think I will ever be able to. I thought he was going to choke to death in the Poconos) but overall the vacation was a success.

The kids LOVED the slow motion feature on my phone and I think we did about 500000 slow motion videos.

I personally love all of them but for the sake of not being repetitive, I will post two!


Running Down a Hill

Also here are a few pictures.

It was a great vacation (aside from the quarter)
Mason and Georgia in the "Snowflake" chair and "Sunshine" chair (as Mason called them)
Having fun at Knobles

My sister and I tried for 20 minutes to take a cute beach pic. Kids photobombed every one but this one!

My oldest nephews Rocco and Leo. Professional photobombers

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Airplanes and Banners

Mason and I went down the shore this past weekend and we had so much fun! This is my new favorite picture of him...looking at an airplane with a banner, of course

As I think everyone knows, Mason LOVES airplanes with banners. He owns about 40 different airplanes and he always creates little banners for them.

I actually got him a new decal for his room, and I didn't even notice his name was spelled wrong until Mason pointed out that there were "two M's"

Uh yeah-I put it on the wall and didn't even notice. DUH. Total Mom fail. Oh well. I am too lazy to order another so Masom is staying on the wall. Mason't thinks it is hilarious and every day when he comes home from school, he runs to his room to look at it. So...maybe not a mom fail after all.

This is my favorite airplane and banner he made when he was about 3. I called it "Mason Banner" (He could spell his name when he was 1 so I did not help him with this)

He still does this today. He is always watching videos of airplanes and banners on youtube and videos of when the airplane actually picks up the banner.

He even watches commercials on youtube for aerial advertisement for your company. hehhehehe.

He talks about airplanes and banners too-all the time. A few weeks ago, he made up a knock knock joke.

"Knock Knock"
"Who is there"
"Airplane and banner"
"Airplane and banner who"
"Airplane and banner flying! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA"

Ok...so maybe not the funniest joke but I personally thought it was hilarious.

He is going on his first airplane with his dad next week and I have to say I am a little bit said that I am going to miss this experience, but I have asked his dad to take some videos of his reaction so hopefully he does, and I can post them on here.

Anyway-he was seriously in his glory watching the airplanes and banners fly by when we were on the beach. Every one that flew by was like the first one he saw.

It was so cute seeing him enjoy something that..well...was just no big deal to me before.

Now I love airplanes and banners!

So next time you see an airplane and banner get happy...think of Mason!!

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Mini Me?

 I had to go look back in my blog to see if I had written about this (sometimes I forget what I have written about lol) and I did not...so I want to post to say I AM SOOOO EXCITED!!!

Mason is signed up for Fall Soccer!!!

I seriously am so excited I cannot see straight. I had wanted to sign him up for basketball but could not find any league for kids younger than 6.

So...we start with soccer.

I played soccer until I was 16, and his dad played throughout high school so I am thinking he should be pretty good.

Actually watching him, he already seems like he has some skills.

He doesn't really stand out to me in the way he plays basketball however he can punt the ball which I think is pretty impressive, and his dribbling is pretty good.

I personally think he would be a great goalie (SHOUT OUT TO AUNT TT)
mean-the kid could catch and throw at 15 months old....like...better than some 5 year olds I see.

Anyway- I am so so so excited however I am super competitive myself when it comes to sports so I am kind of worried and also envisioning myself as one of those weird sports moms. So...sorry in advance if that is who I actually am.


When we found out Mason was autistic when he was 21 months, the thought of sports literally just left my brain.

It just goes to show you just really don't know with these kids, and they will always surprise us parents who apparently have preconceived notions.

I mean-I really thought he wouldn't play sports because his pediatrician told me that.

Now I am like WTF why did he even say that to me?

Ah whatever-I am super excited to go my soccer cleats (OMG THEY WILL BE SO CUTE LOOKING EEEEK!!!) and I am so excited for him to wear his soccer uniform.

I realize I am acting like he is going to the Olympics but whateves.

It is such a wonderful feeling to be excited about something that other parents of kids his age are excited about too. And I really hope he loves it.

I am so proud of this kid and am so happy I am his mom.

Mason brings a light into my life that I don't ever think I can explain to anyone.

Anyway-hopefully you won't see me on the soccer field this fall beating up other 5 year olds.


Sunday, July 10, 2016

Autism Clothing

So I saw this shirt on the internet, and I think it is really stupid. It is the word AUTISM and then has descriptions for each letter.


I saw it on some Facebook autism page, and all these parents were commenting on how much they loved it, and I just really really think it is fucking dumb.

I like the "Always Unique" part. But then the rest of it is like someone couldn't figure out the rest and just picked words.

Totally? Sometimes?


And I don't think autistic people are "mysterious". That just seems like a really weird adjective to pick also. I mean, I know it "implies mystery"....and there is the whole symbol of autism being a puzzle piece

But when I think of "mysterious" I think of...like ancient tunnels that lead to mummies or some shit. Or a tall dark handsome man sitting alone wearing a hat and coat , drinking a martini at the end of a bar when there are no other patrons. During a rain storm. Suddenly, another car pulls up and the mysterious man in the hat quickly flees...leaving only his olive in his drink.



People like that are mysterious.

As a side note, I just want everyone to know that every time I am typing mysterious, I am picturing it being said the same way as Whoopi Goldberg and Cheech Marin keep saying "Mufasa" in the Lion King when they are talking to Scar.

Does anyone even know what the fuck I am talking about?

Anyway-I don't think autistic people are mysterious

Ooooo. Say it again.

heheh ok I will stop. I am cracking myself up and probably no one things this is funny.

Mason has many behaviors that I do not understand. I could go on and on and on about it.

But...I am neurotypical.

He is not.

Mystery solved.

So...that is my opinion on that particular shirt.

Which leads me to my next topic-autism  paraphernalia.

So...I have a magnet on my car of a ribbon with the puzzle pieces and it says "Autism Acceptance" and honestly I am not a big fan of the puzzle piece logo but it is really hard to find anything that does not have the puzzle, and I do think it is important to promote autism acceptance.

Anyway-I am sure there are parents who don't like the puzzle ribbon in the same way I don't like the shirt I described. So...I just want to say I am not saying that I am right and other people are wrong, this is just my opinion.

Also I realize I have a blog and I know there are autistic adults who feel that parents who blog about their autistic child are big assholes, however I have always tried to represent my blog as MY journey. It is about ME and how I came to grow into the person I have become in the last 4 years and honestly if you read through my blog, I think there is a lot of growth on my perspective regarding autistic people.

When I write I do keep in mind that Mason might read my blog one day.

I did not do that in the beginning and I am pretty ashamed of it.

There are actually some really old entries that I have thought about deleting but ultimately I left them up because I think a really important part of this journey is my own personal growth.

It wasn't that I didn't want him to be my child or I didn't want to deal with it. The ignorance was fear of the unknown. Because I really didn't know shit and when I read from a few years ago, there is a lot of ignorance and I will admit that.

Hopefully if he ever reads this, he will understand.

Not that this is the same thing, but I remember at one point in my life it just dawned on me that my family was probably not excited that I was going to be born when my mom first found out she was pregnant...being 18 and all.

It was hard to think of family being upset because of me. But ultimately, I understood that it was because my mom was so young and they were all just scared for her.

So if one day it dawns on Mason that we were probably not happy finding out he was autistic, I hope he understands why and I will do my best to explain it to him.

I am like going off into another world here when I really just want to write about how I think autism shirts are dumb.

The other shirts I really don't like are any that reference "Autism Moms"

For some reason, the term "Autism Mom" or "Special Needs Mom" really kind of bothers me.

So..I am not a mom of autism or I am not autism's mom. I am Mason's mom.

OR if I am writing I will sometimes say "Mom of a special needs child"

But "Autism Mom"...I just think it is worded so that the parent looks like some big hero or something. When really, we are all just parents.

The second reason those shirts bother me is because they usually include the term "warrior" or some type of battle reference which I mean I GET but I sort of feel like having that terminology about your own child on a shirt for everyone to see is kind of fucked up.


Like...does everyone shopping at Target have to know that your kid makes your life difficult?

When I see these shirts, I try to think of what Mason would think if he knew I wore them, so that is why I don't like the ones with war/battle type references.

Obviously there are days that do feel like that and I am very aware that mine are few and far between compared to other parents.

But I think if I had a disability and I saw my mom wearing a shirt all around town letting everyone know how difficult it was to be my mom, my feelings would be hurt.

I have never actually seen anyone wear them, so maybe a lot of people agree with me. But I do see them all over the internet so I guess people buy them.

As a side note, I am fully aware that maybe someone thinks something similar about me because of the topic of my blog, and I am probably being very hypocritical.

I realize everyone copes in their own way, and I would never judge anyone who likes those shirts if they make them feel good.

They just really are not for me.

Now I do know some parents who have shirts or bracelets for their children that make reference to autism which I actually think is a good idea if the child really struggles in public.

Also there are shirts that say "Proud Mom" with the puzzle piece and I would never wear that either, but I think that shirt is fine because there is no battle reference.  It is just like "Hey, I am proud of my kid"

So...now I am surfing the internet looking at autism clothing.

I found one shirt I like

"Keep Calm. Stim On"

MAYBE I would wear that one.

I also saw a sweatshirt that says "Normal People Scare Me."


ummmm so lets see...

Autism Awareness Month Colorful Puzzle Piece Men's G-String Underwear

It's $15.99 Ya'll!

Well on that note, I am out!